rapewhistled:

why do old people drive slow they barely have any time left like GOOOOO ur dying

(via c-rescentmoon)

Friend: go ask

Me: no you go ask

Friend: no you

Me: fine can i have ketchup

realhumanbaby:

someone’s probably in love with you right now, even though you think you’re boring and stupid and smell bad most of the time, someone probably saw you last week and wiped their sweaty hands on the insides of their pockets and thought about your body under your clothing and about how you would look asleep in their bed

(via pale-porcelina)